The Old Rancher

A Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Texas ranch
and talks with an old rancher.

He tells the rancher, I need to inspect your ranch for your water
allocation. The old rancher says, 'Okay, but don't go in that field over there.

The Water representative says, 'Mister, I have the authority of the
Federal Government with me. See this card ? This card means I am allowed
to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or
answered. Have I made myself clear ? Do you understand  ?'

The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.

Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the Water Rep
running for his life and close behind is the rancher's bull. The bull is gaining
with every step. The Rep is clearly terrified, So the old rancher
immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the
top of his lungs.....

'Your card ! Show him Your card !'


A Frog Goes Into a Bank !!

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a 30,000 loan to take a holiday.'

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall,
bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow 30,000 ... and he wants to use this as collateral.'

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?'

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone.'

You're singing it, aren't you ? Yeah, I know you are.........

Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did !!!




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